We have all said something in front of our children that has then been repeated or acted out by them. It is mortifying, especially when you think of the fact that
you taught them that. We are our children's heroes. They look up to us for everything we do and say whether it is good, bad, or ugly. Children are NOT going to do as you say, period.
You're walking through the supermarket, and you see a woman who is overweight and she is buying a bucket of ice cream. You look at her and laugh as you say 'she doesn't need that'. Then, you turn to your oldest child and scold them for calling their younger sibling stupid.
On your way home, you see a teenage girl arguing with her boyfriend as their baby is in the backseat crying. You scoff at them and say 'wow, where were her parents when
that happened?'. Your daughter is in the backseat scared to ask you to take her to the doctor to get on birth control.
Your husband is driving you crazy with his driving. Now, you're at the gas station and you are being a good parent by stepping away from the vehicle to smoke your cigarette as you scroll through your news feed. Five minutes later, you step back into the vehicle relieved and feeling better. You turn to your children and tell them how bad cigarettes are and that you plan on quitting this year.....just like you've told them the past 3 years running.
You have now molded your child's mindset and views on how people should look and behave. Believe it or not, children do not care what we say or how we say it to them. If we are doing the opposite, they see it and they react to it. Your child now thinks overweight people should only be eating salads and anything other than that is just gross and they should be ashamed of it. Skinny is the only shape that is acceptable. Your child is now scared of getting fat themselves, because they don't want you to think
they are gross. Your daughter in the backseat, is so scared to ask you to put her on birth control because of how you reacted to the young mother on the way home. She is in love with her boyfriend and thinks they are going to last forever, but being afraid to tell you that, she could end up pregnant herself. She doesn't think she can come to you now, because you will judge her and ask where you went wrong. You smoke cigarettes to relieve your stress and your children see that. You may be telling them that smoking is bad for you and that you are trying to quit......again, but they see otherwise. They see how calm you are after your cigarette. And they are invincible, which means they will
never get cancer from smoking cigarettes themselves.
Bottom line, teach your children through your own actions. Before you criticize someone at the supermarket, think about how you would feel if you heard that coming out of their mouth. We were not put here to judge each other. We have to coexist with one another and learn that everyone is different. Instead of criticizing everyone for their differences and the path they have chosen for their lives, embrace them and support them. Show your children a good role model that they can aspire to be. Act exactly the way you expect your own children to act. They are your mirror and they reflect YOU. Do you like what you see?