Praise is Better than Punishment

       Now, don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in a good disciplining system. Consistent discipline is key to a well behaved child. Key word there is 'consistent'! Children want attention and consistency more than anything in this world. They really do not care whether it is good attention or bad attention as long as the spotlight is on them and consistency just lets them know what to expect in almost every situation.
      Which brings me to my next point....PRAISE is better than punishment. What I mean by that is, praise them for the things they do RIGHT. It's just like potty training your toddler. When he finally pees on the big boy potty.....you go crazy, jumping for joy, singing, dancing, treats, etc. Well, my friends, it's the same thing for everything else. If you want your child to be polite to others or be well behaved in public places, you have to praise them when they DO. Don't wait until they mess up before you give them that attention.
      I've tested this theory out on my bonus children (I call them 'bonus' because 'step' has been made evil by society). My bonus children have always been raised to just get straight discipline, no praise, and babying (that's a whole different story....needs a post all to itself). What this has taught them is they have to mess up to get the attention they so desperately crave, and that if they cry long enough they'll get what they want. When they came to live with us permanently, this lack of discipline and structure drove my OCD bonkers. It was time for some things to change. We implemented new disciplining systems, chore charts, praise systems, etc. You name it, I tried it.
      The praise system that worked for us was the cotton ball system. Each child got their own jar. For everything they did right or well, they earned a cotton ball. I assigned them each their own color. Come on, you were a kid once, and you know they would steal the other's while bonus mom isn't looking! At the end of the week (Friday at bedtime is our cutoff), whoever has 13 cotton balls, gets a Zaxby's milkshake on our Saturday trip to the grocery. We've been using this system for about a month now, and I can honestly see a HUGE improvement. They also get an extra one if they finish all their daily chores. Not only are the chores getting done now, they are playing nicer together, sharing, not pushing or shoving, and even using their manners. But just as they can earn a cotton ball for GOOD behavior, they can very easily lose one for BAD behavior. Whatever praise system you choose, just stick to it. It will work miracles in your home, trust me!

Our cotton ball system at work. :)

Tyler with his first milkshake reward!